You are not alone! Many men suffer from premature ejeculation. This is due largely to the fact that our sexuality is much less refined and sensitive than the sexuality of women.
Women's skin is twice as sensitive as the skin of men and they experience many more nuances of the orgasm than men do. We men tend to have one kind of orgasm which is the explosive one associated with our ejaculation. Women also involve themselves more in the sexual act as we men often tend to see the act as a release of tension.
Women can last much longer in bed than men. Where the average man now a days lasts 7 minutes a woman can make love for hours!
But fear not! We have been given certain keys we can apply so we can build up our sexualities to match those of women. There are many keys to learning this and different angles one could approach, but the main ones in my experience are the following:
1) Sensitivity " We have to become as sensitive as the woman
2) Masculinity - By becoming more masculine we last longer as well
3) Energy flow " We need a basic understanding of the energy flows during lovemaking
The best results come from using all keys simultaneously, though good results can come by studying one of the aspects alone.
Step 1: Building Up Sensitivity
We need to focus and cultivate the foreplay. Men need this much more than women in fact. When a man focuses on a woman's needs his heart opens and a process of "sublimation" starts where his sexual energy is refined to affective energies residing in the heart.
The heart and the skin are affective organs which are highly linked. When the man opens in the heart his skin will also become more open and sensitive. By opening his heart the man becomes more open to other kinds of stimulation and not so focused on the stimulation of the genital area.
Another good way of opening up the mans sensitivity is through massage which should be mutual. It is best to start with the man massaging the woman, as this very deliberate act of giving will open his heart and thereby open his skin. After he has massaged the woman, they should switch place and the woman massages the man who now is ready to receive.
Step 2: Masculinity
There are many kinds of strength. Here the focus should be on virility. When I say this I mean virility on all levels. Virility is not only limited to the physical sense as being able to have an erection for prolonged periods of time.
When I say virility I mean virility in the sense that the man is powerful: He is strong, he knows what he wants, he knows how to get what he wants etc. Such a man has a powerful masculine core. This core will create a polarization process with his partner making her more feminine and open. Often in couples where the polarity is not good, the man becomes weak and feminized and the woman in desperation has to take the masculine role which is against her innermost nature.
It is easy to see this lack of masculinity in this day and age. At our courses the women are often the most active in their listening. They sit up straight and actively participate by asking questions and offering anecdotes. The men on the other hand are often lying on the floor looking very sleepy and foggy. It should be the opposite! Men should be actively trying to understand how to improve themselves and apply new knowledge.
It is a natural masculine quality to have a good overview of the terrain. Men should have a clear idea of where they are going and also what they would like to achieve in the relationship. Men should know their goals and attempt as well as they can to achieve these goals. This turns the man from being a victim to being someone who is actively engaging with life which is feminine in its essence.
If you accept that this is an important aspect of being masculine, you will naturally find these masculine traits within yourself and become more in touch with your masculine core. This gained awareness will make you very attractive in the eyes of women and will also make you more virile, which again will allow you to last longer in bed.
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